When my oldest daughter’s were very young, I guess I was considered a housewife. A very young housewife. I was only 19 when my second daughter was born. I remember washing clothes and even making a few lunches for my husband at the very beginning when I was pregnant with my first daughter. I know that didn’t last for very long (probably stopped in my 9th month of pregnancy or after our daughter was born). I got divorced when my youngest daughter was only a year old. I went to work full-time shortly after.
I knew how to clean my house, but I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a very clean house. I didn’t have a housewife regimen. The only time I really cleaned was when I knew company was coming. I’ve been embarrassed many, many times over unannounced visitors. One time I even hid my dishes in the oven seconds before our guest walked through the front door. I didn’t know what I was doing then and, at 45 years old, I don’t know what I’m doing now.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE A HOUSEWIFE!
I’m not even sure what to call myself. Am I a housewife, stay-at-home mom, homemaker? We have seven children who are all grown up and out of the house (one passed away several years ago). We have grandchildren. When people ask me what I do, I don’t know how to respond. I guess with “I’m home now”.
Before becoming a housewife (that’s what I’m most comfortable calling myself), I was an author and life coach (I guess I’m still an author,however, I pulled my book off Amazon to make some changes and haven’t put it back on). During that time, my husband and I tried to make “extra” money by selling things on Amazon and eBay. Prior to this, I worked in various positions at a local bank for over 11 years. I’ve also worked in a grocery store, fabric outlet, as an administrative office, at a fast food chain, at a major satellite dish company, and did home daycare (a very demanding job that one thinks will allow you to be home with your kids when they actually get less attention than the daycare children) a few different times in between other jobs. I was a medical administrative secretary right out of college for less than a year. So, I do know how to work and worked hard, often at the expense of my children and my health.
Some people don’t like that I’m home now. They know how hard my husband works to make ends meet. They’ve seen him stressed out over my health, money, etc. I may be super sensitive, but I often feel guilty for being who my husband totally supports me being. I feel like I have to defend my reasoning for being home: fibromyalgia, anxiety, high blood pressure, introvert, etc. Guess What?
I DON’T NEED A REASON OR AN EXCUSE TO BE A HOUSEWIFE!
I’m a housewife because I’ve always wanted to be a housewife and I finally have a husband who supports this decision. BOOM! No more guilt! No more explanations! This is the start of something new and exciting. Am I great at it? NO. Is the house always clean? NO. Do I take naps almost daily? YES…because I can. My husband often encourages me to do so. Remind me that I’m courageous, strong, and don’t need to defend myself later if needed!
I’m living my dream. I understand that this isn’t something that works for everyone. It was important for me to let my husband know BEFORE I married him that this wasn’t a “maybe” thing for me. This was a non-negotiable. He listened to me. He believed me. He loves taking care of me. I love being so loved my him. I’m grateful every single day for this opportunity.
I don’t say this to make the women and men who want to be home feel bad that they aren’t. I have been in your shoes for many, many years. It takes planning. It takes communication. It takes lots and lots of patience. For some people, it simply is not possible due to divorce, health problems, death, debt, etc. I know this and my heart goes out to you because I’ve been there. And, I’m not oblivious to the fact that I could certainly be there again. I also realize that not everyone wants to be home. They want a career outside the home. I respect that.
This blog is all about my journey learning how to be what I believe God has wanted me to be for many years. This is proof that it’s never too late to learn something new. This is sharing with you my highs and my lows. This is hoping that you will share your highs and lows with me too.
P.S.S. I’m totally not a slob (a little lazy I confess). It’s 3:02 p.m. and my bed isn’t made yet but I’m going to get on that right after this post. I’m going to do my dishes too. You’d be amazed at what I can get done in the final hour before my husband comes home;)